Monday, November 17, 2014

One of my fondest memories of a parent honoring their children was when my Mother prepared for her anticipated death from cancer. She invited her 2 daughters and 2 daughters-in-law to her apartment for tea. While having tea she shared with them her desire to distribute her china between them. What impressed me was she divided her china equally between them. After everyone knew what they would receive she told my younger sister she would use what she was giving to her as long as she was staying in her apartment, then it would go to her. Two things impressed me: the joy it brought to all four of the recipients and the joy it brought to my Mom in the giving. For all it was a memory they would not forget. And it showed that she truly honored all of them equally, and by implication, she wanted them to honor each other as well. My oldest sister worked with Mom in dividing the rest of her belongings between the four of us siblings. I got the dining room set. My problem was we didn’t need it and I didn’t think my children needed it. My wife wisely suggested we ask each of our children, and to our delight one of our daughters was interested. I broke the dinning set down into pieces, packaged it and mailed it to her. Later I visited her home and reassembled it. I didn’t realize how much it meant to my Mother to have one of her grandchildren want her dining room set. She told everyone. Unexpectedly, my daughter and I honored my Mom and gave her some joy in her final weeks.